Can anyone remember the last time they were sick? I mean truly sick. Not a bit of a cold or an alcohol-induced projectile vomit session that's cured with a take away and a bottle of Lucozade. A genuine stomach bug. The kind your mum used to call a 'virus' to sound polite to the school receptionist as she informed them that you would be off that day. The kind that rendered you weak and useless for an entire 24 hours, pitiful and shivering wrapped in a blanket of pity.
Well before this week, I struggled to recall the last time I was truly sick. As an adult, I had started to wonder if the myth of The Bug was just a childhood thing our immune systems had finally grown out of. Sure, there was food poison and the flu, but random bouts of sickness eluded me. Until now. I have to say I've never had such an appreciation for food. Even days after the initial sickness, you crave your usual meals but your stomach is just too sensitive to allow them back into your system just yet and lets out an unforgiving rumble at the thought of a pizza slice. Instead, I've resorted to plain old foods. Dry toast, for example, is always an old favourite. Is your mum even your mum if she doesn't offer you dry toast when you're sick? A good brew is out of the question. Milk is a questionable produce. Anything cheesy, spicy or covered in sauce is scraped in fear of a reboot of The Bug. On the plus side, perhaps this little episode is exactly what my body needs to kick start that diet I've been meaning to do since 2002. Silver linings.
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I'm currently in the process of reading A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Barnard and I felt compelled to write a post. Not a review as such, as I'm still yet to finish the book, but an appreciation for the awareness the themes of the novel raises.
The story follows a girl names Steffi, a selective mute who also suffers from severe social anxiety. For one, I find that mental illnesses are not often represented in literature so it was a breath of fresh air to a) find that a teen novel actually identifies with issues so many people face on a daily basis, and b) actually relate to a character on a different kind of level. So many of us are subject to random bouts of anxiety and so far, this novel has done a perfect job of demonstrating that despite there sometimes being triggers, sometimes the likes of panic attacks and feeling anxious can be brought on at random. I applaud Barnard for her representation of mental illnesses in a way that so many people can identify with. In the novel, Steffi is undergoing her first year of sixth form and in order to obtain her parent's blessing to apply for university, she must prove herself and attempt to gain some confidence in her first year. When she meets Rhys, a deaf boy she learns to sign to, she is welcomed into a world of a new way of communication where not speaking seems normal. I love this book for the demonstration of everyday struggles and for the awareness is raises for those who are hard of hearing or find it difficult to communicate. In the beginning, Barnard dedicates the novel to 'the quiet ones', and so I urge you to read it, whether you can identify with the characters or know someone that will. This novel will open your eyes up to so many things that seem to come easy to so many people in a way that makes it all seem ordinary and normal. #AQuietKindOfThunder If you're anything like me in secondary school, you spend so much time trying to get people to like you that you almost forget to like yourself.
You buy clothes that you think are fashionable because other people say so, even if they don't quite look right on you or don't suit you. You don't raise your hand when you have the answers because you don't want people to think you're a know-it-all. You end up going along with things that may not be your cup of tea but you can't miss out on the fun. You try to remain diplomatic in every situation because you'd hate for anyone to have an issue with you. In truth, it's impossible to be liked by everyone, no matter how hard you try. Being invisible doesn't hide you away from the judging comments and looks and sometimes, it can even encourage them. I always tried so hard to fit in that I forgot how important it is to stand out. And to be honest, sometimes it can get a little tiring not voicing your opinion. Maybe some people won't like what you have to say and others just won't get it, but I've come to realise the error of my ways. Voice your opinions and do what makes you happy cause at the end of the day, integrity is much better than invisible. Growing up is scary.
Taxes. Bills. Mortgages. Responsibility. If you shuddered at any of those words, then welcome to the club. The idea of growing up and adulting in general is terrifying but an inevitable process for most of us. If you're part of the lucky few with trust funds up to your eyeballs and properties all ready for you to move in to, I envy you. Most of us struggle to afford a monthly rent and without a decent deposit, you may as well kiss goodbye to the idea of a mortgage. The reality is that you need a decent deposit to put down, at least two participants and a decent income. And that's just step one of growing up. I'm currently in the process of attempting to save for a house with my boyfriend, Mike, even though I am annoyingly distracted by good packaging and things I really don't need but in the moment, insist I do. But I guess the most important thing in the process of leaving home is to find someone you want to live with, whether that be a friend, family member or partner. I can honestly say that I've found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and so the idea of leaving home becomes slightly less daunting and a little more exciting. Growing up is scary, but independence is something to embrace. But then I suppose I'll always have that little Peter Pan sitting on my shoulder, reminding me to never grow up. I guess I'll always be a big kid at heart. |
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