I had honestly started to accept that I would be living at home forever, having been previously unable to afford to move out. I had always assumed that renting was dead money and saving for a deposit on a house with a mortgage was proving to be even more difficult, until we stumbled across a gem. Located just five minutes from work, my sister and I will actually be SAVING money by moving out!
I've found myself browsing for things like toasters and kettles: things that ordinarily would not excite me. But now I find myself steering towards the home ware section, scouting the web for nick knacks and essentials for our new home. I'm still in the process of saving for a mortgage with Mike, but for now, living with my sister is a good way for us both to save a bit of money before the next steps in our future. Moll is looking to go travelling next year and we both recognise that the move won't be permanent, which works just perfectly for us both. Change scares me and something this drastic is ultimately petrifying, but then I think that if I just played everything safe then I would be missing out on some great opportunities. Of course I'll miss the comforts of my own home and my Mum, but I think it's about time this 22 year old child grew up and started taking some responsibility for her own life. To the future.
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Resting Bitch Face A phenomenon in which the resting face lacks animation and appears to look bitchy at all times, thus leading people to believe a person must be upset, a snob or a bitch. - The Urban Dictionary www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=resting%20bitch%20face When asked what people's first impression of me was, most people say that I look like a snob and am surprised to find that I'm actually not. "What makes you think that?" I ask.
"I don't know," they say, "you kinda have a resting bitch face". If, like me, you're cursed with the Resting Bitch Face (which shall henceforth be referred to as RBF), then you'll understand how people often think you lack emotion. In my head, I'm a smiling idiot that seems friendly, but according to everyone else, I seem a little distant at first, until you get to know me. I CAN'T HELP IT. IT'S JUST MY FACE. I do smile sometimes, I swear. I often used to wonder, what makes a relationship work? Is there the perfect formula for success? Are there certain rules to follow? Most psychologists will probably say that it's a combination of trust, communication and commitment, and I don't disagree. I think all three of those factors are important to maintaining a good relationship with anybody, friend or partner.
But then it occurred to me that perhaps there was something else. I had been in relationships where trust, communication and commitment had coexisted and played an important role in our functioning, but the partnership had inevitably failed despite this. So I started to wonder where we go wrong. Why do couples argue? How can we prevent ourselves from the inevitable end? And I came to one simple answer: acceptance. So why do we argue with our loved ones? Of course, exterior factors such as stress at work, tiredness and even hormones can cause arguments from nothing. But aside from those factors we have little control over, people fall out because they become annoyed by another person. Sounds simple, right? But what if there was a way to control that annoyance? I think understanding your partner plays a massive role in controlling your arguments. Understanding why someone may have said or done the act that has caused the argument could be the key to everything. As the causer of the argument or the recipient of the annoyance, you have one of two choices: you can either accept what has happened or been said and move on, or you can end things all together if you feel as though it has challenged your personal boundaries. Sometimes the decision may not be a quick reaction and you may need to take a moment to decide whether or not you can surpass the cause of the argument; whether or not you can accept it. You can't change a person, and I always thought if I could, then I wouldn't want to. Someone is clearly not meant to be in your life if you have a list as long as your arm of the things that you would change about them. Of course, no one is perfect and there will always be things that challenge your desire to retain them just as they are. But as I said, you can't change a person, and wouldn't want to, so what are you left with? Accepting them. Are there things that you can't compromise on? Does that person have those characteristics that you can't? Then they're not right for you. If you can't learn to accept someone as they are, then you are with the wrong person. But if you can accept someone unconditionally, for all of their flaws, and vice versa, then you may well just have someone worth taking a risk on. #theoryofacceptance #relationships Writers' block? Cat got your tongue? Here's a few tips to help you get back on your way to your greatest work yet. Some people have great plot ideas but struggle to get the words out on paper. Others are great with words and syntax but struggle to come up with the content. Whatever your flaw, wherever your weakness, there's always a solution to the problem. 1. Read This may sound like an obvious tip, but reading the works of others is a great way to learn how to construct, develop your own style based on influences, adopt terms and phrases and develop your own lexicon. It can broaden your knowledge of a particular subject, offer an insight into an area you plan on researching for your own piece and, above anything else, gives you an idea of what gets published. 2. Keep a journal Again, this is a pretty stereotypical tip. But how annoying is it when the perfect line comes into your mind and you have no way of recording it. The exact wording of your perfect sentence will never be reconstructed, and so having a means to record all of your random thoughts can be extremely useful. More to the point, a journal can be a point of reference for anything that may inspire you: a place you visited, a conversation overheard, the profile of a character or an action/event you lived through. Documenting details of your personal life can come in useful when writing fact or fiction as I always find it best to write about what you know or can relate to somehow. 3. Write something, anything, every day It could be a well-worded text to a friend, a love letter to your partner or a fragment of a chapter for your next work, but keeping your pen in the ink is what keeps you in the game. Practising your writing only develops your abilities as a writer so what harm can it do? 4. Get inspired Travelling, experiencing and living are always a great form of research. By experiencing the things you write about, you gain a personal sense of actually having done something as opposed to just reading about it in books or on the internet. Go to the place you are setting your book. Do the things your character does. See what your characters see. Build an authenticity that can not be disputed. 5. Anthropology This is basically a big word that justifies people watching. In order to build your own character profiles, you must have an understanding of people and where in the world your character would be placed. What outfit choices would your character make? What kind of decisions are they likely to make? Who would they befriend? All of the answers to your character questions lie within the existing population. You just have to look a little closer. 6. Characterisation The best tip I can give for creating characters is to put a piece of yourself into every individual. It could be a small personality trait or physical attribute, an insecurity, a strength or a weakness, a hobby or a pet hate. If you can relate to all of the characters and make them believable as human beings, then an audience is more likely to relate to them too. Don't be afraid to reveal flaws in your character and make them REAL. Whilst on the subject of characterisation, I should also note that all characters that appear more than once in your piece should have a part to play or an importance to the story, otherwise you're probably just rambling. Don't overcomplicate your set of characters. If a person is featured in a story then they must have a purpose. 7. Plausibility Writing about something you relate to only makes the story more believable and an audience more likely to empathise. Unless, of course, you're writing fantasy. In which case, let your imagination run wild. But even in this case, there must be an element of mutual understanding. Relate the fantasy world to the existing one, whether that is defining similarities between the two worlds or highlighting contrasts. There must always be a point of reference which an audience can identify with in order for them to relate to your words. 8. Research Sometimes, experiencing the thing you want to write about isn't possible. For example, if you're writing a piece set in World War 1, it is not possible to go back in time to live through those experiences. In these cases, extensive research can be undertaken to gain a good grasp of the era you're writing about. Books and the internet are great for facts and reading contemporary personal experiences. Documentaries and films offer visual representations which can help with the creating process and interviews with experts or people of interest are particularly helpful to gain further knowledge of life at the time. 9. Enter competitions Take all the opportunities to write and put your work out into the world by the metaphorical horns. 10. Write the novel you want to read Once you've read a multitude of books, you start to develop a sense of what is missing in the world of literature, what you want to read and, most importantly, what you want to write. "There comes a point in your life when you need to stop reading other people's books and write your own." Now I'm not a film critic or fanatic by any means. I don't know much about directors, actors or lighting, but I do know a good film when I see one.
The masses turned out for the screening of this film, some for the curiosity of seeing Harry Styles in his acting role, others for the story of such an infamous historic event. I myself fell within the latter category, having taken an interest in Dunkirk predominantly upon learning that my great grandfather, Pa Sam, played an active role in the reality of such events. Fionn Whitehead plays the leading role of 'Tommy', a British soldier stranded on the beaches of Dunkirk, searching for a way home as the enemies close in on their position. He befriends a fellow soldier, 'Gibson', played by Aneurin Barnard, and the pair form a wordless bond. At first, I found the lack of speech a little confusing until it was revealed that Gibson was in fact a French solider attempting to escape the war with the British. Whilst Tommy defends his friend, other British soldiers are quick to brand him as a coward and make the assumption that he has killed a British soldier for the uniform. Tommy remarks that it is not hard to come by a dead British soldier in Dunkirk, supporting his French friend whilst highlighting the travesties of mass murders. For me, the tale of civilians taking their ordinary boats to bring the soldiers home stole the story. There is something so overwhelmingly wonderful about the selflessness of humanity at times of need. The film reminisces the true story of 'Operation Dynamo', a fleet of around 700 civilian vessels charging across the channel to retrieve over 3380,000 troops between May 26th and June 4th 1940. Despite the threat of the German air force, the Luftwaffe, the determination and sheer courage won the lives of so many stranded at Dunkirk. It is a truly inspirational story that perfectly depicts a desperation to live and inflicts a sense of fear in us all. An absolute must-see this summer. To read more about the Little Boats, check out the Telegraph archive: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/films/0/archive-photos-operation-dynamo-real-story-behind-christopher/ #Dunkirk |
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