I can't stress enough how serious mental illnesses are and just how many people are affected. As someone who is not personally diagnosed with clinical depression, I understand that my views on the matter are limited as there is a lot I don't understand. But to have my sister, and best friend, come crying to me at 2am, telling me she can't carry on, puts everything into perspective. You don't have to suffer from a mental illness yourself to realise that everyone feels low from time to time, but depression is on another level. There are a lot of resources out there to help those dealing with depression, anxiety and the likes, but there are also techniques to help those who are effected on a second-hand basis. Dealing with a loved one who suffers from a mental illness can be a delicate and emotional process. For me, the most difficult thing about living with someone with depression is knowing that I am unable to cure it. Being unable to help is difficult to come to terms with, but the important thing is that there are resources and people available who can make a difference. As adamant as the person may be to not seek out professional help, I strongly urge you to encourage them to. Even persuading them to see a councillor once a week is a step in the right direction. It provides your loved one with someone to talk to without emotional attachment as well as a professional perspective. These people are trained to deal with mental illnesses unlike most family members or friends are, but they also offer an unbiased ear to listen to them without judgement or repercussions. Encouraging your loved one to seek help can be a delicate subject and so the important thing to know is to not enforce it. They are more likely to benefit from counselling or cognitive therapy if they are willing to cooperate. If someone is reluctant to seek help, it shouldn’t be forced upon them as though they are not in control of themselves. It’s important for anyone to make the realisation on their own and when they find that they want to do something about it, trust that they will and support their decision. As a friend or family member, that’s the most anyone can really do. Another way to help is to make plans with your loved one and give them, and yourself, something to look forward to. Spending quality time together not only builds trust and increases the bond between you but encourages the mind to think positively about future prospects. Having something to look forward to in the future may eliminate the possibility of ending the present. It doesn’t have to be anything complex, but even planning a trip to the cinema a week in advance is an important step to planning the future. The most important thing I can say to anyone living with someone with depression is to be supportive and sensitive. Getting mad and abusive is never going to help anyone and is more likely to push your loved one away from you. Making it clear that you are available to talk to without judgement may just make all that difference. For example, when my sister took her second overdose, she called me up to her room and told me straight away what she had done. Her trusting me enough to come to me allowed us to get to the hospital in time to deal with the situation. I’m not saying it’s easy, but you’d rather be in the loop than standing on the outside of an operating room. I’ve always had a close relationship with my sister, although recent events have definitely brought us closer, and I’m thankful to say that she is now working towards controlling her urges and moods. I’d love to know all of your opinions on the matter of mental health and living with someone with depression. Feel free to comment below and thank you for taking the time to read this post.
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Part-time student/bar-associate |